‘Kayso, my original intention with this blog was to write a post weekly, with the goal being amusement for all that would eventually result in having tons of material for a book. Yeah…goal ≠ reality. I plan on being better about that, so buckle up, you guys. Or run.
I was in Idaho last week to celebrate my birthday with my family and longtime girlfriends, so it seems appropriate to impart some of the wisdom I’ve acquired over the years upon you. (HA…truthfully, the older I get, the more I see of the world, and the more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t and won’t ever know, which I’m okay with.)
But seriously, we had more fun than any of us thought grownups were capable of having when we were younger.
Other brilliant birthday epiphanies:
- It’s not a party ’til someone’s hair catches on fire. (Love you, HWE.)
- Cake is overrated. Good tequila is not.
- Have a passport and use it…the smallest minds are the ones with the fewest miles on their odometer.
- Nothing good happens after midnight, so stick with people you can trust to not post that shit on Facebook if you stay out past the stroke of twelve.
- It’s better to regret what you did than what you didn’t, but that doesn’t stop what you did from potentially being embarrassing AF.
- The ability to laugh at yourself and shake it off is paramount to navigating the inevitable ups and downs of life. (And #5.)
- If a woman over the age of 30 doesn’t have lines on her forehead, she’s getting Botox even if she says she’s not.
- Women over 30 are badasses…Do. Not. Mess. with them.
- The sucky truth is that just because something isn’t your fault doesn’t mean it’s not your responsibility.
- Time spent controlling chaos when your kids are little is necessary, but time spent keeping your house immaculate is wasted…the only thing they’ll remember when they grow up is their bedrooms.
- Three words if you over-imbibe: electrolytes, electrolytes, electrolytes. (And if you’re doing it on a regular basis: rehab, rehab, rehab.)
- Unless you borrow money, you don’t owe anyone anything, but if you say something, keep your word, because it’s all you’ve got. Perfect credit is meaningless if you have no credibility.
- This is your life to live as you feel compelled to, but be nice about it and don’t judge others for how they choose to live theirs.
- The older you get, the more statistics start to play out. Tell people who matter to you that they do on a regular basis.
- You are almost always your biggest obstacle, so figure out why, GTFO of your own way, and stop blaming others.
- Drama is optional, so clean up your own messes, and if you want or need something, use your words. Seriously. If preschoolers can do it, you can.
- Miss Scarlet 208 Le Marc Lip Crème by Marc Jacobs is THE perfect red lipstick…any time, on anyone, for any occasion.
- Physics always wins.