Birthday Wishes and Wisdom

Good Intentions and Idaho Girlfriends

One of my birthday wishes this year was to celebrate it with part of my tribe of lifetime girlfriends, so one long road trip to Idaho later, there I was. And there we were, having way more fun than any of us thought grownups were capable of when we were younger.

My original intention when I built this website was to have my portfolio and blog in the same place, and I planned to write at least one blog a week with the underlying goal of amusement for all that would eventually result in having tons of material for a book. So, yeah…goal ≠ reality.

To make up for all the posts I didn’t write, please allow me to impart some of the brilliance I’ve acquired over the years upon you. I kid…truthfully, the older I get and the more I see of the world, the more I realize how much I don’t know. Which I’m okay with on account of my inner nerd embraces learning like my lungs do breathing. And on that note, let’s move on to birthday wishes and wisdom.

Birthday Wishes and Epiphanies:

1. It’s not a party ’til someone’s hair catches on fire. (Love you, Heather.)
2. Cake is overrated. Good tequila is not.
3. Have a passport and use it…the smallest minds are the ones with the fewest miles on their odometer. If I could wish one thing for humanity, would be seeing how/where other humans live.
4. Nothing good happens after midnight, so stick with people you can trust to not post that shit on Instagram if you stay out past the stroke of twelve.
5. It’s better to regret what you did than what you didn’t, but that doesn’t stop what you did from potentially being embarrassing AF, so prevention over intervention.
6. The ability to laugh at yourself and shake it off is paramount to navigating the inevitable ups and downs of life. (And #5 on occasion.)
7. If a woman over the age of 40 doesn’t have lines on her forehead, she’s getting Botox, even if she swears she’s not.
8. Women over 40 are badasses…do. not. mess. with them.
9. The sucky truth is that something may be 0% your fault but still be 100% your responsibility.
10. Time spent controlling chaos when your kids are little is necessary, but time spent keeping your house immaculate is wasted. The only thing they’ll remember when they grow up is their bedrooms.
11. Three words if you over-imbibe: electrolytes, electrolytes, electrolytes. And if you’re doing it on a regular basis: rehab, rehab, rehab.
12. Unless you borrow money, you don’t owe anybody anything. But if you say something, keep your word, because it’s all you’ve got. Perfect credit is meaningless if you have no credibility.
13. This is your life to live as you feel compelled to, so get on with your bad selves, people! But be kind and stop judging/don’t judge others for how they choose to live theirs. It’s none of your beeswax.
14. The older you get, the more statistics start to play out. Tell the people you care about that they matter on a regular basis.
15. You are always your biggest obstacle, so if you’re experiencing things you don’t want or feeling stuck, figure out why. See a therapist, GTFO of your own way, and stop blaming others.
16. Drama is optional, so do your best to clean up your own messes. Better yet, figure out who you are and try not to make them in the first place. (Mistakes are inevitable…messes are extra.)
17. If you want or need something, use your words. Seriously. If preschoolers can do it, you can.
18. MAC Paramount + MAC Chili = THE perfect red lipstick, on anyone, for any occasion. For a more brownish tone, layer Paramount over Chili, and for a more reddish tone, do the opposite.
19. Physics always wins. (And makes the world/universe/time go ’round, so make it your friend.)
20. Speaking of making friends, sooner or later, we all come face to face with our shadow selves, so if you want to evolve and live a truly authentic life to the fullest, do the work it takes to make that bitch your bestie, flaws and all. She’s the gatekeeper to becoming who you’re here to be…ignore her, and she’ll just keep leveling up on the triggers.

The End